Friday, 7 March 2008

Cheryl and Ashley

Twas February 23rd that my third novel (technically 4th but more on that another time) was given the nod by Judith and so sent off to Penguin for their thoughts. It’s called Studs now. That might change. This blog is part displacement activity from the 4th novel (technically 5th, but I’ll stop doing that now) and the other part so that I have something to contribute to those lovely girls in publicity and marketing when in about a year from now Studs is published.

Jennifer Weiner wrote on her blog (the star turn of her excellent website) that any author who didn’t have a website these days was…well, I forget her exact adjective but it wasn’t one that I would want to be.

So here I am.

I had two blogs previously. One – Adventures of the Queen of Clubs, on which I was going to write a burlesque novel episodically while living in Krakow. That didn’t happen. And Waiting To Meet You, which was a short pregnancy blog. That did.

Writing a blog is like being a celebrity (bear with me) in that everything you say is there to haunt you and a few months - years, days? - down that line you feel like chewing your own mouth off to shut yourself up. Cheryl Cole once said on the record ‘if Ashley cheats I’ll kill him’ and so lately must be wishing that she hadn’t been quite so hyperbolic. Either that or her recent forgiveness is just a clever ploy to get back into the marital home so that she can slip some arsenic into his lucozade.

I thought he was an idiot for cheating (I went so far as to join the facebook group Ashley Cole, What A Wanker) and wanted Cheryl to do an Aleesha Dixon on his ass and be Cheryl Tweedy once more but without the toilet room assaults, but since her change of heart I have been thinking that perhaps Cheryl was right to do a Posh.

American divorce statistics are the highest in the world because they place a high importance on fidelity. Ooh la la, Cheryl Tweedy Cole is practically French.

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